in which Bethy and The Boy have little road trips

We had the car this weekend, so we drove it places. Mostly to Tescos petrol station. Ooh I put petrol in a car for the first time ever! Yes I was terrified of getting petrol everywhere and setting fire to it but we were ok!

Yesterday we went to Clifton. Well, more into Clifton than I did with Ney. We weren’t there long enough really – once we’d parked and eaten and met Ant’s friend Jess for a drink (lovely girl, absolutely bonkers!) we’d pretty much run out of time, and it was a Sunday so evertyhing was shutting early. Stupid Sunday trading laws. Also Liam was visiting in the evening so we had to get back. We’ll go earlier next time, and actually see the bridge. We also got lost on the way there – we decided to follow the elephant road sign as that was zoo directions and the zoo is in Clifton but the elephant was a liar and made us drive round in a circle through an industrial estate and end up back at the Severn Bridge. Stupid elephant.

Liam brought us a pizza that h managed to get for free (some people have all the luck) which was nice, apart from the fact that they put “peppers” on it instead of cherry tomatoes. I took them off but the pizza still made my mouth burn. I fear they were not peppers but chilis. Stupid Pizza Hut. But hey – free pizza is always good.

Today we went to Devon. We went to Devon. In a day.

Originally it was going to be Brighton, but what with all the stupid football traffic clogging up the M4 we figured it would be a good idea to avoid the M4 altogether.  I wanted to see the sea so it was a choice of West Wales or down south. I picked Teignmouth as it’s basically straight down the M5. Also it’s where Muse come from.

Now this is something I found odd – generally “home towns” are proud of ther famous folk and plaster them everywhere. I didn’t see one Muse reference anywhere. Indeed we made our own –

it's a Supermassive Black Hole... yes?

Teignmouth is a nice enough little place, all the usual shops that pretty much every town has, and some nice little cafes. Plenty of pubs and millions of Jack Russell Terriers. Seriously, they love their Jacks in Teignmouth. All different sizes and colours, all incredibly cute. Oh and there were donkeys. You can’t have seaside without donkeys.

Jack the Donkey

That donkey photo looks remarkably bright. It wasn’t. It was miserable, and drizzled for a while, then was just cloudy and then (as we were going home) the sun came out. Grr. This time last year the weather was stunning – we went to Weymouth after Kath & Al’s wedding and instead of looking like this:

Teignmouth - today

The beach and sea looked like this:

Weymouth - last May

So naturally I’m a bit annoyed that Mr Sun didn’t make an appearence until we had moved back inland.

Despite the dreary weather I must say that Teignmouth was still nicer and more enjoyable than Barry Island or Porthcawl. The Boy thinks this is because we grew up with the Basra and now it’s like a part of our life that we can’t go back to. I think it’s because they’ve just let them rot and are full of chavs. There were no chavs in Teignmouth, only loads of little kids with scooters. Oh boy do they like scooters. There’s a little skate park thing on the sea front and all the kids were scooting around. No skateboards or rollerblades, just micro scooters. Bizarre.

Having spent a lot of this weekend as a passenger in a car I must say how fucking terrifying other drivers are. It’s no wonder that learners crap themselves, I certainly am. It’s all very well you being a conscientious driver but if the arseface behind you decides that 70mph is just too slow for the national speed limit then you have to deal with it. So many bad drivers out there, and these people had obviously been driving for years and years. I think they shouldmake you do a mini test when you renew your photocard licence every 10 years and if you fail then you do a course. But that would cost money. Money, or peoples’ lives and safety? Money wins of course. Stupid money.

Finally, and possibly the best thing about the weekend – I got tweeted by Pat Sharp. THE Pat Sharp. From Fun House. Pat Sharp who had the best mullet in the world EVER. As Cherry would say “UBER amaze!”


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