in which Bethy swears

…and so Sunday evening is once again upon us, and so the depressing prospect of another week at the office rears it’s ugly head once more. This week will be hard – my “boss” is only in Monday and Tuesday, my friend finishes on Friday, someone else is supposed to finish on Friday but may leave sooner if they pay him (or he might have man-flu again, what a cock) and on top of that I need to make sure all the files and other things we need are packed up ready to move back to the other office next Monday. That’s on top of doing actual work.

All I want to do is eat. Which is not good seeing as I’m out of target and means I have to eat nothing but veg all week, which will smell.

I’m tired of the “at least you’ve got a job” I seem to get from everyone. Yeah, that may be, but it’s slowly killing me. It’s getting to the point where “do you want fries with that?” is sounding appealing. Every time I come home and there’s a letter waiting to tell me that “they had an overwhelming number of applicants” and that I “obviously put a lot of effort into my application” I just want to punch someone. Of course I’ve put a lot of effort in – I want the fucking job. Apologies for the language but I see and deal with complete idiots every day and wonder exactly what I did that was so very wrong that I am now stuck in my job and have been for 5.5 years. Is that the reason? Have I been doing this for too long and so have been rendered obsolete by any other employer? Every morning I get to work and the first hour or so is spent jobhunting.

The worst thing? I am so down about work that it then becomes impossible to motivate myself to do anything else. I can’t afford to just quit.

I cry.

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